Well, I’ve changed my mind. I had every intention of waiting until the first of the year to begin my weight loss plan. I had such great success quitting smoking as a New Year’s resolution 3 years ago that I figured it would work as well for losing this weight that I put on when I quit smoking. But I changed my mind.

After the weekend, I’m beginning my weight loss plan. I thought about starting on Thursday but I wanted to celebrate my birthday with Kendyll this weekend so Monday looks better. I’ll begin with a fast/cleanse. I have a couple of herbal teas, one a blend and the other dandelion, that I’ve used before. Hopefully, one day of herbal tea will jump start my metabolism and send my weight loss in the right direction. After that, I’ll do my modified low-carb plan. In fact, I’m going to begin working on that plan now so it will be ready by Monday.

I have a closet full of clothes that don’t fit right now so being able to wear them again will be quite a treat. Heck, it may be like getting all new clothes! Once I’m at a more comfortable weight, I’m going to up my exercise from a couple times each month to 3-4 times each week. I may look over my life insurance plan and get a few lower insurance quotes, too. Being healthy and fit will have all kinds of benefits.

Most of all, I just want to look and feel better. I want the aching to go away. I want my clothes to fit right. I want to feel good about me. And that won’t wait till the first of the year.

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Maybe it’s because I’ve raised so many boys. Or maybe it’s because I just love kids. Whatever, I’m always happiest when my house is full of children of all ages laughing, yelling, jumping and playing.

As long as no one is fighting or crying, the sounds of children are the happiest sounds around. I know, some people call those sounds “noise” but I don’t. Noise is a jackhammer. Noise is the garbage truck on Friday morning. The sounds of children are not noise.

Then there’s the linear motion: Up and down, up and down, as if their feet have springs in the bottoms or sailing across the floor on a rug, down the steps in laundry baskets, and yes, even through the air occasionally. And let’s not forget the circular motion – spinning spinning spinning around until the dizziness drops them to the ground.

Did I mention that I love when the kids are all playing like that? Did I mention that the kids in question range from 2 to 20? This went on for over 15 minutes. It was a wonderful 15 minutes!

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We built our home 15 years ago. Every year we come up with a list of things we’d like to change. One thing that my husband always wants to change but I won’t even consider is the jacuzzi. It’s huge – 5×7 – and has its own room. I use to enjoy it at least once a week but the cost of water and electricity (and propane to heat the water) is so high that I feel guilty using it. And really, I don’t think I enjoy it nearly as much as I did when we got it. So I’m considering letting my husband get rid of it.

He’s talked about putting a laundry room there but I don’t like the idea of the family having to go through my bedroom and bathroom to get to the laundry room. However, my office is right next to the jacuzzi room and accessible from the hallway. I think we could turn my office into a laundry room and turn the jacuzzi room into an office. And maybe even add an outside door and deck onto the office. Wouldn’t that be nice?

If we move the laundry room then it would need to have nicer fixtures than it has now. I’d want a front loading washer, for one thing. I also want a utility sink with a cabinet and maybe some attractive bar faucets instead of the plain utility ones my husband put in my current laundry room in the basement.

Of course, back in the real world we first have to replace the side porch that we removed when we installed our concrete sidewalks last year. I just have a feeling that now that I’ve agreed to eliminate the jacuzzi the husband may be more eager to do some remodeling. We’ll see.

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GRMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE

A long time ago, when Nick was about 6 years old, he made a mess of my kitchen bar stools with a pen knife. He was poking holes in a plastic lid so his pet toad could get air. He cut that lid straight through to the seats on my stools.

Last year I replaced those seats, keeping the metal bases. The new seats weren’t as comfortable as the old ones but they were close enough. I hoped they’d last another dozen years. Uh, yeah, right.

Already, one of the bar stools is out of commission. Two of the four screws that hold the seat onto the base have fallen out and are now lost. I’m sure one of my boys can fix it but I’m just not very happy that the screws fell out in the first place. I have to face the fact that I’ll probably need all new stools in another year or so.

At this rate, I’ll never be able to save enough for my Botox, Restylane, Liposuction, or whatever else is on that ever growing list of ways to slice myself to perfection.

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I’ve been having trouble relaxing at night. It seems I’m staying awake later and later. When I do lay down in bed, I just stare into the darkness. I can’t seem to get tired. I was thinking about that the other night and realized the last time I slept really good was at my mom’s house this summer. I was in my old bedroom trying to sleep when it began to rain outside. I could hear the rain beating down on the roof and the sound of the water was so comforting that I drifted off quickly.

I don’t know what it is about rain and the sound of water in general that calms me. My husband is the same way, in fact. The sound of rain always makes him tired. Near the ocean or around any moving water, my soul is at peace. If only I could bring that feeling into my bedroom every night….

You might not believe this but I actually found a way to bring the soothing sound of water into my bedroom. I’ve looked at Water Fountains for in front of my house, mostly because my son Nick has always had his heart set on one, but I didn’t realize there were Indoor Water Fountains as well. Considering my husband is in construction and has built some pretty lavish homes, you’d think I would have run into one of these before.

While the floor models are very pretty and would look great in one particular corner of my bedroom, I worry about the kids or the dog (or the kids AND the dog together) getting a little boisterous and knocking it over. Yes, it can happen in my bedroom, too. Trust me, it’s the reason one of my closet door mirrors is cracked. But I digress.

What really caught my eye were the beautiful Wall Fountains. Yes, you read that right. These fountains mount on the wall which is why the site is called Soothing Walls. There are so many different styles, some taller, others wide. I’ve never seen anything like this before.

Interestingly, in 16 years I have not hung one single picture on my bedroom walls. I’ve got all my other walls decorated nicely but not the bedroom. My husband asked me to please leave those walls bare because that’s how he likes them, so I did. That means that I have A LOT of wall space in my bedroom to put a wall fountain. Since my husband loves the sound of water when he’s sleeping, I just know that he’d be fine with hanging one of these on our bedroom wall.

Can you imagine how wonderful it will be to lulled to sleep by the sound of a gentle waterfall? Seriously, I think I’m getting tired just thinking about it. And you know with my birthday coming up very soon, this is going right at the top of my list. My husband has been bugging me about getting rid of our jacuzzi and I think I might just agree to that if he’s willing to surprise me with one of these indoor water fountains. After all, a girl only turns 50 once, right?

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Have you ever found some item from the past and had a flood of memories from it? That happened to me the other day and I’m still thinking about it.

I was trying to decide which of my purses to use and when I opened one of my Coach bags I found the paperwork for the travel insurance we had when we traveled to Hawaii with my granddaughter, Kendyll. That was just in 2007 but still, what a blast from the past!

Of course, I immediately pulled up the pictures from that trip and marveled at how much Kendyll has grown. She was just a chubby little thing then and now she’s so much taller and even putting words together in sentences. I watched the video of Kendyll playing on the beach and running toward the water. Naturally, that made me cry. How I wish I had those moments back!

Silly as it may seem, I put that paperwork into a different purse, figuring that I may find it again in a few months or so. Then I can relive those fun times again. And again. And Again.

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I have no idea what has come over me. I can’t stop eating.

For the past 9 years I’ve been very good at watching my weight. I’ve been able to stick to any diet I devise for myself. I’ve lost 80 pounds and kept it off for over 6 years, until I quit smoking. I began to lose weight again, taking off 35 pounds. And then, I just lost it.

Now I just can’t make myself stick to any eating plan. In fact, I can’t stop eating, and I mean all day long. This is getting frightening. I’ve totally lost control of myself. I’m so worried that I’ve considered an OTC diet pill or even something stronger from my doctor.

I have never been like this before. Even when I’ve been overweight, it wasn’t from this kind of constant eating. I don’t know what’s happening to me but it’s time that I make a change. And soon.

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The kids are at it again. We’re not even out of October and they’re building their Dear Santa lists. Except that all of my kids are old enough to know exactly who is providing the gifts under the tree on Christmas morning.

I thought that we finally hit the top price on Christmas gifts last year with the PS3. Not so. They’ve outdone themselves this year with requests for HDTVs. I’m not ready for this.

Except for football, I have no desire to see anything on TV in high definition. I seldom watch movies, I have very few must-see shows and news shows are depressing enough on my old TV, let alone in high definition. Besides, I’m just not up to learning all the new acronyms. I’ve got HDTV and HDMI but that’s as far as my brain will go. When it comes to TV, all I want to do is click the remote. I surely don’t want to think about what I’m doing.

Just between us, the kids won’t be getting a high def TV this year. Prices have come down but not far enough for my liking. Besides, after February when everyone realizes they didn’t need an expensive new TV when all channels go digital, I predict prices will fall dramatically. I’ll wait at least until then.

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And the countdown begins.

Today is October 12. In one month I will reach the half century mark. That’s right, I’ll be 50 years old on November 12. Seems like just yesterday I was lamenting my 40th.

I’m going to try very hard to not fall apart at the thought of aging another year. I’m counting down only to keep my family aware that this momentous day is fast approaching. I want them to have plenty of time to prepare for the celebration and save for an appropriate gift. I’m really thoughtful like that.

I’ve got a long list of things I’d like, from the cheap – like a day with no kids fighting or someone to clean all my windows – to the expensive, like a vacation to Aruba or a Mini Cooper convertible. There are lots of other things in between, too, like a day at a spa, Movado watches, a few books on my wish list, botox, lasik surgery, liposuction…. You get the picture.

Really, I’m not sure there’s anything I want this year for my birthday, other than my entire family being together. That’s all that matters to me. And it all comes down to one person making that happen.

I think I’d give up the next 50 years, just for that one wish to come true for one day.

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It looks like next weekend will be really warm around here. I’m hoping the weather reports are right because I really want to hit a few yard sales. This will probably be our last chance before winter sets in.

We’re trying to get ready for my newest grandchild, Caleb. He’s due in February when it’s too cold for yard sales. We got some great deals for Kendyll before she was born so I’m hoping we can do the same now. I have plenty of crib bedding from Kendyll and we still have one infant car seat here. I love that the sheets and blankets we have are appropriate for both boys and girls. It makes it easier for grandmas like me. I think Kendyll’s swing and high chair are in the attic. But there’s so many other things we’ll need. Like clothes!

I can’t wait to hold my new grandchild. I can’t wait to watch my family grow. I live for babies.

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