only backgroundI'm a wife, mother and grandmother. I'm opinionated. I contradict myself frequently. Most of all, I love my kids. I believe in them. I fight for them. They're weird and wonderful. If you want to know more, here's a bunch of other stuff from my old site.
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
We all have a favorite comic or two, some in the newspaper, others online. Today I found one that I just have to share with everyone.
Georgie is a five year old who blogs using voice recognition software. Well, duh! Of course he does since he can’t spell that well yet. Oh, but he is full of ideas! Having lived with six 5 year olds for a year at a time, I can tell you that they are some of the most entertaining people on earth. And Georgie is no exception. Well, except that he’s every 5 year old turned up just a notch or two.
Okay, I’ll get you started with today’s installment of Being Five because I know that it’ll just take one strip to get you hooked.
Now aren’t you glad you stopped by here? And you are going over to Being Five and adding the feed to your feed reader, right?
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I really need to do this more often. I promise I will.
Every so often I happen upon a blog that tickles my funny bone or provokes my thoughts. Sometimes, it just educates me. Whatever the reason, the blog is one I want to visit again and again. Today’s example, Because I Said So.
I’d love to say that I found this blog because I’m a talented blog searcher but that wouldn’t be true. The fact is, this delightful woman placed some Pokemon cards up for sale on ebay and become an instant celebrity. Her writing style and sense of humor are addicting.
Like me, Dawn has 6 children. But Dawn is so much better at enjoying the craziness of her kids than I ever was. Oh sure, I can laugh now when I look back but at the time, I was much too serious to enjoy the chaos. Maybe that’s why I’m so addicted to Dawn’s blog.
Go ahead and stop by. Take a look. I just know you’ll be laughing by the time you leave there.
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I have to thank Patrick for this one. He says to use it freely since he found it on StumbleUpon. He posted it for Wordless Wednesday but I’m putting it here just because it made me laugh. And today, I needed to laugh.
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I spent a little time outside today with Levi and Belle. We haven’t gotten very far with cleaning up the backyard now that the pool is gone so we went out back today and tidied up a little.
The center of the yard is still sand, from where the pool used to be. We raked the sand to try to get rid of anything that looked nasty in there. Really there wasn’t all that much to pick up. Other than some matchbox cars, a butter knife and a few old golf balls, the back yard was rather clean. The weeds around the edges of the yard, just beyond the sand is another story. I think we should just drag out the rototiller and start over from the soil with the backyard.
Maybe that’s a good project for this holiday week coming up. I know Brian will really appreciate that I fill up his free time with interesting chores around the house. I’m such a good wife. 
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I had just sipped that first bit of coffee this morning when I heard Britanie upstairs.
“Oh, Kendyll! What did you do?”
A few minutes later, Brit came down the stairs holding Kendyll out at arm’s length. Kendyll was covered from her pretty blonde curls to her little tootsies in poopy.
In fact, she had smeared it all over her crib, on all her blankest and on her window.
We first showered Kendyll in my shower because I have the removable shower head. The we bathed her. Three times. At one point, Levi said, “Hey! She has dingleberries hanging from her ear!” Yes, she did.
So she got cleaned up, we cleaned her mattress, stripped all her blankets and started washing. Kendyll again smells like a rosebud. Her room, including her window, is clean and smells like Fabreeze.
We will never again put Kendyll down to sleep in regular jammies. From now on, it’s a onesie with jammie bottoms over it.
What a morning!
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What was I thinking again? Oh, yeah!
Children. They drive us crazy, no? Of course, just as we drove our parents crazy, whether we admit it now or not. But while my 15 year old is moaning about a sore throat and wanting me to hold him even though he’s almost a foot taller than me, he’s really a good kid. And Maggie makes me crazy when she insists on reading one of her silly quizes to me out of her teen magazines (What would you rather eat, a dirt sandwich or a worm omelet?) but she’s such a sweet girl most of the time.
Okay, so some of the things my kids have done have been much worse than that. I mean, the police know me and the inside of my home. Nevertheless, I ‘m going to make a point of not complaining about my children so much any more. They could be so much worse. Case in point:
Thank you, God, that this is not my kid
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When we were kids, my mom always drove a station wagon. There were no car seat or seat belt laws back then so we’d sit in the back, sometimes turning it into a “bed” even though we never fell asleep back there.
Often, on Sundays we’d take a neighbor and her daughter to church with us. My mom and her friend Donna would ride in the front while my sister and Donna’s daughter, Cara, would ride in the very back, singing and talking.
One Sunday, my mom and Donna were discussing the funny gag gifts from their recent Christmas party. My mom is Croatian with an Italian last name because of my dad. Some had given her an two irish gifts, a small leprechaun and a ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish’ shirt as a joke. That led to a discussion of heritage and nationality between Cara, my sister and me. My mother remembers it this way:
My sister: We’re Italian and Croatian
Cara: Well, can you say anything in Italian or Croatian?
Me: Yeah (mangled words for “come here” and “eat”)
My sister: What are you?
Cara: I don’t know. Mom, what am I?
Donna: English
Cara: We’re English.
Me: Can you say anything in English?
Cara: Just because I’m English doesn’t mean I can speak it!
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I think one of my neatest online discoveries back in the 90s was eCards or online greeting cards. There were literally hundreds of sites, all with unusual and unique ecards. I sent them to anyone with an email address, for every occasion and sometimes for no occasion.
Most of those sites I used to visit now charge quite a bit to send ecards and most of the sites are anything but unique. I learned this yesterday, on Valentine’s Day. How disappointing.
One site, though, makes sending ecards a pleasure again. Egreetings lets you send unique, free funny eCards to all your friends. And every ecard you send can be personalized with your own message, too.
Egreetings.com also offers a paid service that allows you to choose cards and schedule them for delivery on dates you specify. That really makes keeping in touch so easy. And it’s just $13.99/year for unlimited ecards! You can’t buy 4 nice paper cards and mail them for that!
How unique are the ecards? Well, I’ve never seen a Valentine card with Chins before! Be sure to click on the image because the ecard is animated. You’ll want to see it in full action.
But don’t wait till next Valentine’s Day to send an ecard. Egreetings.com has ecards for every occasion. Whether you’re congratulating someone, just saying hello or wishing a Happy Birthday, you’ll find the perfect ecard at egreetings.com. (Go ahead, click the cleavage, too. It may not be what you expect. 
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This is a sponsored post.
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Thanks to Deb for pointing this out. Saturdays always need some fun to break up the monotony of cleaning and stuff. I’m now an M&M!
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I love to rock Kendyll. I just love that baby so much. I love being a gramma. I’ve got Nick to thank for that. Let’s hope she doesn’t get her daddy’s temper.
Yesterday, Nick and his dad had a little spat. Okay, I admit, when it comes to Nick and his dad, no spat is little. They’re two of a kind. They love each other but when they fight, they yell. Loud.
Of course, it never lasts long. They made up tonight. That’s good. I don’t like when my boys are mad at their dad.
I still remember the first time Nick got mad at his dad. Nick wanted something – I can’t remember what – and Brian told him “no.” In fact, Brian had to tell Nick no several times. Finally, Nick got up and got the thing he wanted himself. Brian got up and took it off of Nick. Nick threw at tantrum. And yes, I’m talking about a full blown tantrum. (He was about 3 at the time.)
Nick screamed, “I hate you!”
Brian nodded and said, “I love you.”
Nick screamed, “You’re not my father.”
Brian said, “Then someone else ought to be paying the bills around here.”
And then Nick delivered what he thought would be the most devastating, insulting retort he could think of. Nick screamed, half sneering, “Yeah, well I don’t like your truck, either!”
It was all we could do to keep straight faces. And that is how most of their disagreements end. Or begin.
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