only backgroundI'm a wife, mother and grandmother. I'm opinionated. I contradict myself frequently. Most of all, I love my kids. I believe in them. I fight for them. They're weird and wonderful. If you want to know more, here's a bunch of other stuff from my old site.
Back Tracking Or Back On Track
- by Marisa
- July 16, 2008
I was doing so well on my latest weight loss plan. I’d lost over 40 lbs and was feeling wonderful. And then I decided to try to add some foods that I thought would be safe. At first, they were safe. I didn’t lose but I didn’t gain, either.
The problem was that I stopped thinking about what I was putting in my body. I smelled pizza and ate it. I saw ice cream and ate it. I thought about buttered noodles with garlic and made it. Then I ate it.
Even when I decided to go back to my original plan to drop that last few pounds, I kept putting it off. So I ate and ate and ate. Now, I’ve put 20 pounds on that I’d worked so hard to lose. I feel like such a failure.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve finally let go of my impossible expectations. I realize that my body is just the form that holds my true self. My body has nothing to do with who I Am.
I care about this weight for a few reasons, though. First, I do want to be healthy. I want to be able to crawl into my grandkid’s playhut tent or climb the sliding board at the playground and slide down. I can still do those things but if I keep eating unhealthy, I won’t be able to do any of that next summer.
Second, I really don’t have the time or money to spend on finding clothes to fit an overweight body. People of normal height and weight have no idea how difficult – or expensive – it is to find clothes that fit a body that isn’t within the “normal” range. I’m already short and dealing with that challenge. I dread having to find clothes that are made for a short fat person!
And so. On Monday I started back on my weight loss program. So far, I’ve done quite well. I made spaghetti for the family last night and didn’t’ touch a bite of it. I made Kendyll buttered noodles for lunch a few minutes ago and didn’t even taste it. We’ve even had pizza in the house and I was strong.
Yes, I’ve recommitted myself to this. The countdown to my 50th birthday in November has begun. I’ll be ready.
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