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I’m NOT Pregnant
By Marisa | March 27, 2008
I just wanted to get that out there. Because it’s physically impossible for me to be pregnant. So don’t ask.
I thought that simply eating pickles and peanut butter would carry me through the next month, until I find a new food obsession. But no, it wasn’t to be. Now I’m obsessed with a specific brand of pickles. Nothing else will do.
You see, I was really craving pickles and peanut butter. I told my husband we had no pickles and he said it wasn’t worth the gas to go to town just for that. He was right, of course. So I mentioned that I was going to call my neighbor Tammie to see if she had any pickles. You would have thought I had announced that I was going to stand in the middle of the road, naked, singing the National Anthem. My husband could not comprehend how I could possibly want pickles so badly that I would borrow a jar from the neighbors.
And so, I waited. And waited. And when I noticed that the husband had gone out to the garage, I ran to the neighbor’s house and begged for a jar of pickles. I just love Tammie and BJ. They always have exactly what I need. Like pickles. It turns out that BJ’s dad would only eat Claussen pickles so that’s what they had. And that’s what they gave me. Claussen Tiny Kosher Dill Pickles.
Now, there is no way I’ll ever be able to eat anything but Claussen pickles. Never. I don’t care what is on sale. I must have Claussen pickles. In fact, I don’t even care if I have peanut butter or not. These pickles are wonderful straight from the jar.
Just one problem. Right now the jar is in the back of my fridge, hiding behind a bottle of Juicy Juice. The husband is in the kitchen. He’s been sitting at the kitchen bar, watching TV for hours. He doesn’t know that I borrowed the pickles and I don’t want to tell him. So I have to wait for him to leave the kitchen and preferably go to sleep so I can eat more pickles. I’m getting really tired of waiting.
And, no. I’m not pregnant!
Topics: Food |
4 Comments
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lol thats too funny.. maybe something you would see on a sitcom ..
Two things: First, I’m delighted I could help you develop a new addiction. You’ve been being so healthy lately, I was getting worried.
Second, tell Brian you ARE pregnant. When he passes out from the shock, the pickles are all yours! (They really ARE yummy!)
Claussen pickles are SOOO good! I get regular old pickle slices for my PB & pickle sandwiches, but if I’m eating pickles from the jar, Claussen it is. And I finished off my jar yesterday
WAY TO GO! I bet you are so proud of Feeve! YAY!