Resolution

  • by Marisa
  • December 29, 2005

Haven’t had a New Years resolution for a few decades. I never stay with them so I just gave up.

This year, it’s important. This year, I want to succeed.

I wasn’t going to put this in print because well, I hate to make it public that I’ve failed. But I’ve failed at this one before and I’m still trying. Lots of people fail before they succeed. Maybe this time will be different.

I’m going to quit smoking.

There, I said it. Or I typed it. Now I have to do it. I bought the nicotine gum. I have my mind set right. I have my reasons for this:

I want to be healthy.
I hate spending this money on cigarettes
I hate hiding in my room so Levi (who has asthma) isn’t around the smoke.
I hate standing outside in the cold to smoke at work.
I hate not going to certain places because I want a cigarette.

Maybe most important, I have been very wrapped up in this whole addiction thing. My son has been clean for 22 months. I want to help others with addiction. How can I speak about fighting addiction when I can’t even beat my own? I’ve always explained it by saying that cigs are legal and don’t change my personality or make me “high.” Well, that’s just an excuse. Addiction is addiction is addiction. My cigarettes have become my best friend, always with me, always near the front of my mind. There are too many other things that ought to be more important.

I want to be smoke-free. I’ll keep doing this until I succeed.

Now to get over this damn fear…….

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What Others Like You Have Said

14 Responses to “Resolution”

  • Sounds like a good resolution to me! Plus, you are starting with a list of very good reasons. If you need any moral support, you can always email me. I went through it too and it isn’t easy. It *IS*, however, easier than you might think.

    Let me know if you want any advice from a veteran quitter. :)

    only background praesignis (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the in the late afternoon
  • addiction isn’t pretty– the guy i just got out of my relationship with is a crystal meth addict which is absolutely insane. i personally am not addicted to smoking, but i am addicted to caffeine and spend 5-8 dollars a day on redbull. i guess we all have our vice…

    only background payphone35cents (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the in the early evening
  • you can do it if you want to bad enough. hug

    only background macaholic (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the in the early evening
  • Thanks, Nat. I’ve been smoking for over 30 years. It’s so much more than just a physical addiction. Being aware of that this time and preparing for it might help me get through this. I’ll definitely email you if I need extra support. :)

    only background scorpy01 (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the at around evening time
  • crystal meth is bad. My son, now 17, was addicted to crack and heroin. Heroin use/addiction is an epidemic around here. Consider yourself lucky to be away from that guy. Loving someone with an addiction fucks you up.

    I know about caffeine, too. I just love my coffee, blacknosugar. SHIT! I think that means that I have to give up my caffeine next. NOOOOOOO!

    only background scorpy01 (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the at around evening time
  • Yeah, I can quit. I’ve done it hundreds of times. But can I stay “quitted?” :)

    only background scorpy01 (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the at around evening time
  • No caffeine!!!? What then would be the point of living?

    One of my very favorite quotes is from Voltaire. He was responding to someone who told him that he should stop drinking coffee as it is a slow poison. He said, “I think it must be [slow]. I have been drinking 12 cups a day for 60 years and it hasn’t killed me yet!”

    only background praesignis (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the at around evening time
  • Oh, I don’t think I’ll turn my back on my caffeine just yet. So much Kona coffee to drink, so little time. :)

    only background scorpy01 (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the at around evening time
  • Oh yeah! That stuff you sent me was GOOD!! Didn’t last very long though. *sniff* Anytime you wanna send me more…;)

    only background praesignis (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the at around evening time
  • That’s kind of a touchy subject around here. My husband brought me back two freakin bags – that’s it! Then my son brought back NONE!!!! I couldn’t believe it.

    When I was there I bought an extra bag just to carry my Kona home – filled it up with over 20 lbs. :) I guess I’ll just have to fly over there and get it myself. And I’ll definitely send you some. Now keep your fingers crossed that I get back there again soon.

    only background scorpy01 (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the late at night
  • If YOU want to bad enough!

    only background macaholic (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the late at night
  • oh my gosh….. he was addicted at such a young age? thats so sad but it’s amazing that he’s clean. i know only a small percentage of addicts actually clean themselves up and recover. for meth it’s only 5 percent. when i went to the NA and CMA meetings w/ rob there were soo many young kids there that were like 16 and had lost everything- girls that had moved out at like 15 and were living w/ a dealer in some torn apart house somewhere with no contact with the outside world and even worse stories i dont want to repeat. im sorry about that, but it’s great to hear he has broken his addiction.

    as far as the caffeine goes- it’s not that bad to just drink coffee every morning. it’s not horrible for you and it’s something to get you going in the morning. you dont need to give it up unless it gets excessive…

    only background payphone35cents (0 comments.)December 29,. 2005 in the in the wee hours
  • Yes, my son has come a long way. More of his story is here:

    http://www.mydandelionpatch.com/nicksstory.html

    We’re speaking at the local Elks on Tuesday. We have a horrendous heroin problem here – all ages, economic classes, etc. This area is a series of small towns but we’re less than an hour away from Pittsburgh and that’s where the heroin is coming from. Way too many kids and adults have died in the past three years. The numbers are mind boggling.

    I’m so very grateful that my son chose to recover. In the end, it’s all up tot he addcit. No one else can make the decision for him/her.

    I’m not giving my caffeine – yet. First it’s the smokes and an attempt to get back into my favorite workout. If I feel like I can handle life without coffee, I may do that but for now I’m hanging on to it. Since giving up sugar and cream, I’m enjoying it even more. :)

    only background scorpy01 (0 comments.)December 30,. 2005 in the in the early afternoon
  • [...] will tell you that before I quit, I was nervous scared terrified. Even hours before the moment, I wasn’t sure I’d make [...]

    only background Are You In The Smoke Out? | Marisa’s Dandelion Patch (19 comments.)November 15,. 2007 in the in the early evening